she can wrap me around her finger. Make me jump off a cliff. My head smashing orgasmically against the rock, brains spewing all over the surf. Ahhhh. I hate her and love her at the same time. I know her and shes a complete mystery to me at the same time. Just seeing her today made me lose my mind right now at the same time. Not in the 'flowers are pink and the sky is so blue' way. In the 'please take this guy to the pagal khana' way. Ill feel like this all night. Maybe the whole week. I play song after song, trying to find one that resonates with this parasite thats gnawing at the inside of my ribs. Sting gives some perspective. The shape of my heart. Map of Austrailia.
She has the ability to make me feel like the worst person on earth. That cant be a good sign for a lover. Can it? I feel like the pain in my chest is my fault. Is it? Like instead of breaking her heart i broke my own. Did i? But thats not nearly the worst thing.
Its this. What if theres really nothing. I dont feel anything for her. Its just this guilt im left with everytime i touch the air around her. She either loves me. In which case shit. Or she hates me. In which case faeces. Or she doesnt care. In which case doggy-style assfuck.
I honestly cant say which i prefer. Im so revolted of myself right now. Im not even sure thats a correct sentence. Cocaine. Thats a complete sentence. She dont lie she dont lie she dont lie cocaine.
Back to being busy at nothing tomorrow. Internshit. I coined that. Everyone on irc pm'd me. Congratulations they said. You are a linguist. Internshit is right. Ill go insane one day and strangle the two trolls i have to stare at all day. Fraandship. Thats another word for ya. Musti the master linguist. The Scientist. Thats another sentence.
Reply you bitch fucking reply or ill kill myself. The parasite sinks it teeth in deeper. That scene from Alien. I chuckle. Actually i dont. Now i do. Chuckle. Thats a complete sentence.
This is mabye the best shit ive ever written. Its beautiful. Profane, organic, disgusting, honest as fresh earth. That with worms in it. Behold my guts ladies and gentlemen. No armour. Naked as a newborn. 'She' must be so proud of herself right now. Behold my nude splendour my darling.